"I've sat at over 500 IEP tables."
I'm Mary, a former special education teacher and administrator, a Special Education Advocate, and co-founder of The Advocate Ally with my son, Graham. I left the system to help families directly. I created this special education resource because too many parents feel pressured to accept generic, "cookie-cutter" IEPs.
The guidance below is grounded in the same practical, document-based questions I raise in IEP meetings every day. Use it to ask for clearer, more individualized support for your child.
Mary
Co-founder, The Advocate Ally
Start with the record, then choose the next step
Your child with an IEP has been suspended, removed, sent home, or referred for discipline, and the school is scheduling or discussing a manifestation determination review.
What to Check
- each removal date, reason, length, services provided during removal, and whether the behavior plan or IEP supports were followed
- The exact IEP page, school email, meeting note, service log, progress report, or evaluation section tied to the concern.
- Who responded, what they said, and whether the answer was written, verbal, or missing.
Red Flags
- The school gave a verbal answer but the IEP, PWN, progress report, or meeting note does not show the decision.
- The response focuses on opinion, staffing, or habit without naming data, records, or the written IEP section.
- The issue could affect services, placement, discipline, safety, graduation, or evaluation timelines.
Documents to Gather
- discipline notices, removal days, incident reports, current IEP behavior supports, FBA, BIP, service logs, and recent progress or behavior data
- Attendance records, suspension notices, early pickup emails, behavior logs, IEP behavior supports, FBA, and BIP.
- A one-page timeline if the same issue has happened more than once.
Sample Finding
The record shows What removals are being counted, what data will be reviewed, and whether the current behavior supports were implemented?
Parent-Safe Sentence
"Please provide the discipline record, removal-day count, current behavior data, and the IEP/BIP supports the team will review at the manifestation determination meeting."
Who to Contact
Contact the case manager and special education director in writing, and consider qualified local help quickly because discipline, safety, placement, or exit decisions can have short state-specific timelines.
Privacy Guardrail
Share only the facts and records needed for this request. Avoid sending broad medical history, unnecessary diagnoses, or extra student identifiers unless the school process specifically requires them.
When to Get Local Help
Deadlines and procedures can be short and state-specific. Before escalating, verify your procedural safeguards, save the written record, and consider qualified local help if services, placement, discipline, or graduation could change quickly.
Source Grounding
- IDEA IEP contents
- IDEA review and revision of IEPs
- IDEA parent participation
- CPIR parent participation
- IDEA discipline procedures
- IDEA manifestation determination
This guide is educational information, not legal advice. Rules and deadlines can vary by state, district, and procedure.
What's Happening
Your child with an IEP has been suspended, removed, sent home, or referred for discipline, and the school is scheduling or discussing a manifestation determination review.
Rights to Review
Start with the written IEP and the written school record. The safest first move is usually to ask the team to confirm what it is doing, what data it used, and what it will put in writing.
- You can ask the school to identify the IEP page, record, or data it is relying on.
- You can put the concern in writing so the team can respond point by point.
- If the school refuses a request, proposes a change, or says no change is needed, ask for the reasoning in writing.
- State timelines and dispute options can vary, so verify local procedural safeguards before escalating.
Build a Calm Written Record
When a school conversation feels urgent, the safest first move is usually a narrow written record: what happened, what you are asking for, and what evidence should be reviewed.
The Calmer First Written Step
Please provide the discipline record, removal-day count, current behavior data, and the IEP/BIP supports the team will review at the manifestation determination meeting.
What to Document
- each removal date, reason, length, services provided during removal, and whether the behavior plan or IEP supports were followed
- The exact IEP page, school email, meeting note, service log, progress report, or evaluation section tied to the concern.
- Who responded, what they said, and whether the answer was written, verbal, or missing.
Evidence to Attach
- discipline notices, removal days, incident reports, current IEP behavior supports, FBA, BIP, service logs, and recent progress or behavior data
- Attendance records, suspension notices, early pickup emails, behavior logs, IEP behavior supports, FBA, and BIP.
- A one-page timeline if the same issue has happened more than once.
When to Ask for PWN
Ask for written documentation if the school refuses to count removals, refuses to share discipline records, or declines to review FBA/BIP or IEP implementation questions.
Keep the Request Narrow
- Ask one answerable question before listing every concern.
- Name the IEP section or school record the team should review.
- Ask who is responsible, when the next step starts, and how you will know it happened.
What Not to Say
Avoid: Broad accusations about intent or motive.
Try: Tie the concern to the written IEP, evaluation data, service logs, meeting notes, or a specific school decision.
Avoid: A long history of every frustration in the same email.
Try: Lead with the one decision, service gap, or document section you need the team to address now.
Avoid: The school is breaking the law and must do exactly what I want.
Try: Please provide the discipline record, removal-day count, current behavior data, and the IEP/BIP supports the team will review at the manifestation determination meeting.
Make the written request easy to answer
Keep the message short enough that the school can respond point by point. Use this structure before adding personal details.
Please provide the discipline record, removal-day count, current behavior data, and the IEP/BIP supports the team will review at the manifestation determination meeting.
each removal date, reason, length, services provided during removal, and whether the behavior plan or IEP supports were followed
Ask one answerable question before listing every concern.
Ask for written documentation if the school refuses to count removals, refuses to share discipline records, or declines to review FBA/BIP or IEP implementation questions.
Turn the concern into a usable record
A stronger first message usually sounds specific, documented, and answerable. Use this as the shape, then swap in your child's actual dates and IEP pages.
The student has several suspensions and early pickups, and the parent is not sure whether the school counted all removals before the MDR.
Attendance records, suspension notices, early pickup emails, behavior logs, IEP behavior supports, FBA, and BIP.
What removals are being counted, what data will be reviewed, and whether the current behavior supports were implemented?
What To Do Right Now
Pull the record first: discipline notices, removal days, incident reports, current IEP behavior supports, FBA, BIP, service logs, and recent progress or behavior data
Make a short dated list: each removal date, reason, length, services provided during removal, and whether the behavior plan or IEP supports were followed
Send this sentence: Please provide the discipline record, removal-day count, current behavior data, and the IEP/BIP supports the team will review at the manifestation determination meeting.
Ask for written documentation if the school refuses to count removals, refuses to share discipline records, or declines to review FBA/BIP or IEP implementation questions.
Organize discipline red flags before the meeting
Use the red flags checker to sort removals, behavior supports, notice, and records that need review before escalation.
Open the red flags checkerStart With the Written Record
Before you send a letter or file a complaint, start with the written IEP. The audit can flag documented gaps, weak language, and sections that may deserve a written question or closer professional review.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do first if I searched "manifestation determination meeting prep"?
Should I file a complaint right away?
Can Advocate Ally review the IEP page tied to this concern?
Review the document before you escalate
Upload your IEP to identify written sections that may need clarification, correction, or professional review.
Review My IEP