"I've sat at over 500 IEP tables."
I'm Mary, a former special education teacher and administrator, a Special Education Advocate, and co-founder of The Advocate Ally with my son, Graham. I left the system to help families directly. I created this special education resource because too many parents feel pressured to accept generic, "cookie-cutter" IEPs.
The guidance below is grounded in the same practical, document-based questions I raise in IEP meetings every day. Use it to ask for clearer, more individualized support for your child.
Mary
Co-founder, The Advocate Ally
Start with the record, then choose the next step
Your child is having behavioral challenges at school—meltdowns, elopement, aggression, or refusal. Instead of using an FBA to understand the pattern, the school is responding to incidents without a clear support plan.
What to Check
- Behavior incidents with date, setting, trigger if known, response, consequence, and time away from instruction.
- Whether the behavior happens during certain tasks, transitions, sensory demands, communication demands, or unstructured times.
- Current supports, BIP strategies, and whether staff are using them consistently.
Red Flags
- The school gave a verbal answer but the IEP, PWN, progress report, or meeting note does not show the decision.
- The response focuses on opinion, staffing, or habit without naming data, records, or the written IEP section.
- The issue could affect services, placement, discipline, safety, graduation, or evaluation timelines.
Documents to Gather
- Incident reports, discipline notices, teacher emails, removal logs, and parent observations.
- Current IEP behavior supports, any BIP, and progress or behavior data.
- Provider notes if they explain likely triggers or needed supports.
Sample Finding
The record raises a real concern about discipline and behavior records, but it does not yet show the controlling page, date, data source, written school decision, and local rule needed to choose the next step safely.
Parent-Safe Sentence
"Ask for an FBA in writing and connect the request to specific behaviors that impede learning, removals, safety, access, or peer participation."
Who to Contact
Start with the case manager or IEP coordinator. If the issue affects services, placement, evaluation, discipline, safety, or complaint options, ask the special education director or a qualified local advocate about next steps.
Privacy Guardrail
Share only the facts and records needed for this request. Avoid sending broad medical history, unnecessary diagnoses, or extra student identifiers unless the school process specifically requires them.
When to Get Local Help
Get qualified local help if the school response could affect discipline, safety, placement, service denial, evaluation rights, missed timelines, retaliation concerns, state complaint, mediation, due process, graduation, or unclear state-specific deadlines.
Source Grounding
- IDEA IEP contents
- IDEA review and revision of IEPs
- IDEA prior written notice
- CPIR prior written notice
- IDEA initial evaluations
- IDEA evaluation procedures
This guide is educational information, not legal advice. Rules and deadlines can vary by state, district, and procedure.
What's Happening
Your child is having behavioral challenges at school—meltdowns, elopement, aggression, or refusal. Instead of using an FBA to understand the pattern, the school is responding to incidents without a clear support plan.
Rights to Review
Under IDEA, when behavior impedes learning, the IEP team should consider positive behavioral interventions. An FBA can provide the data foundation for a behavior plan.
- The IEP team should consider behavioral interventions when behavior impedes learning.
- You can request an FBA at any time in writing.
- After repeated or extended removals, ask whether an FBA is required and whether one has been completed.
- A strong Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) should be based on the findings of the FBA.
Build a Calm Written Record
When a school conversation feels urgent, the safest first move is usually a narrow written record: what happened, what you are asking for, and what evidence should be reviewed.
The Calmer First Written Step
Ask for an FBA in writing and connect the request to specific behaviors that impede learning, removals, safety, access, or peer participation.
What to Document
- Behavior incidents with date, setting, trigger if known, response, consequence, and time away from instruction.
- Whether the behavior happens during certain tasks, transitions, sensory demands, communication demands, or unstructured times.
- Current supports, BIP strategies, and whether staff are using them consistently.
Evidence to Attach
- Incident reports, discipline notices, teacher emails, removal logs, and parent observations.
- Current IEP behavior supports, any BIP, and progress or behavior data.
- Provider notes if they explain likely triggers or needed supports.
When to Ask for PWN
Ask for PWN if the school refuses an FBA, says behavior is only a discipline issue, or declines to review behavior supports after repeated incidents.
Keep the Request Narrow
- Name the specific behaviors and settings you want assessed.
- Ask what data the school already has and what data it still needs.
- Ask for an IEP meeting to review whether an FBA or BIP revision is needed.
What Not to Say
Avoid: Broad accusations about intent or motive.
Try: Tie the concern to the written IEP, evaluation data, service logs, meeting notes, or a specific school decision.
Avoid: A long history of every frustration in the same email.
Try: Lead with the one decision, service gap, or document section you need the team to address now.
Avoid: The school is only punishing my child.
Try: Please review what the behavior data shows and whether an FBA is needed to plan positive supports.
Make the written request easy to answer
Keep the message short enough that the school can respond point by point. Use this structure before adding personal details.
Ask for an FBA in writing and connect the request to specific behaviors that impede learning, removals, safety, access, or peer participation.
Behavior incidents with date, setting, trigger if known, response, consequence, and time away from instruction.
Name the specific behaviors and settings you want assessed.
Ask for PWN if the school refuses an FBA, says behavior is only a discipline issue, or declines to review behavior supports after repeated incidents.
Turn the concern into a usable record
A stronger first message usually sounds specific, documented, and answerable. Use this as the shape, then swap in your child's actual dates and IEP pages.
A parent is trying to document this concern: Your child is struggling with behavior, but the school refuses to investigate why. An FBA may help—here's how to request one.
Incident reports, discipline notices, teacher emails, removal logs, and parent observations.
Name the specific behaviors and settings you want assessed.
What To Do Right Now
Submit a written request for an FBA: 'I am requesting a Functional Behavior Assessment for [child] under IDEA.'
If the school refuses, request PWN explaining their refusal.
Request an IEP meeting to discuss behavioral concerns and include the FBA request on the agenda.
If the concern remains unresolved, review state complaint, mediation, due process, and independent evaluation options with a qualified professional.
Start With the Written Record
Before you send a letter or file a complaint, start with the written IEP. The audit can flag documented gaps, weak language, and sections that may deserve a written question or closer professional review.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is an FBA?
Who conducts an FBA?
What happens after the FBA?
Review the document before you escalate
Upload your IEP to identify written sections that may need clarification, correction, or professional review.
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