"I've sat at over 500 IEP tables."
I'm Mary, a former special education teacher and administrator, a Special Education Advocate, and co-founder of The Advocate Ally with my son, Graham. I left the system to help families directly. I created this special education resource because too many parents feel pressured to accept generic, "cookie-cutter" IEPs.
The guidance below is grounded in the same practical, document-based questions I raise in IEP meetings every day. Use it to ask for clearer, more individualized support for your child.
Mary
Co-founder, The Advocate Ally
Start with the record, then choose the next step
Your child has behavior supports or a BIP, but incidents, removals, calls home, safety concerns, or avoidance continue. The next question is whether the plan is being followed with fidelity, whether the data shows it is ineffective, or whether the FBA/BIP needs review.
What to Check
- which behavior continues, when it happens, what staff did, whether the BIP strategy was used, and what data was collected
- The exact IEP page, school email, meeting note, service log, progress report, or evaluation section tied to the concern.
- Who responded, what they said, and whether the answer was written, verbal, or missing.
Red Flags
- The school gave a verbal answer but the IEP, PWN, progress report, or meeting note does not show the decision.
- The response focuses on opinion, staffing, or habit without naming data, records, or the written IEP section.
- The issue could affect services, placement, discipline, safety, graduation, or evaluation timelines.
Documents to Gather
- current FBA, BIP, behavior goals, incident reports, removal log, staff implementation notes, and progress data
- BIP, FBA, incident reports, removal log, staff notes, parent log, and behavior progress data.
- A one-page timeline if the same issue has happened more than once.
Sample Finding
The record shows What does the data show about whether the plan is being used and whether it is effective?
Parent-Safe Sentence
"Please review whether the current behavior plan is being implemented with fidelity and whether the FBA or BIP needs revision based on recent data."
Who to Contact
Start with the case manager or IEP coordinator. If the issue affects services, placement, evaluation, discipline, safety, or complaint options, ask the special education director or a qualified local advocate about next steps.
Privacy Guardrail
Share only the facts and records needed for this request. Avoid sending broad medical history, unnecessary diagnoses, or extra student identifiers unless the school process specifically requires them.
When to Get Local Help
Get qualified local help if the school response could affect discipline, safety, placement, service denial, evaluation rights, missed timelines, retaliation concerns, state complaint, mediation, due process, graduation, or unclear state-specific deadlines.
Source Grounding
- IDEA IEP contents
- IDEA review and revision of IEPs
- IDEA services and aids
- IDEA related services
- IDEA state complaints
- IDEA measurable annual goals
This guide is educational information, not legal advice. Rules and deadlines can vary by state, district, and procedure.
What's Happening
Your child has behavior supports or a BIP, but incidents, removals, calls home, safety concerns, or avoidance continue. The next question is whether the plan is being followed with fidelity, whether the data shows it is ineffective, or whether the FBA/BIP needs review.
Rights to Review
Start with the written IEP and the written school record. The safest first move is usually to ask the team to confirm what it is doing, what data it used, and what it will put in writing.
- You can ask the school to identify the IEP page, record, or data it is relying on.
- You can put the concern in writing so the team can respond point by point.
- If the school refuses a request, proposes a change, or says no change is needed, ask for the reasoning in writing.
- State timelines and dispute options can vary, so verify local procedural safeguards before escalating.
Build a Calm Written Record
When a school conversation feels urgent, the safest first move is usually a narrow written record: what happened, what you are asking for, and what evidence should be reviewed.
The Calmer First Written Step
Please review whether the current behavior plan is being implemented with fidelity and whether the FBA or BIP needs revision based on recent data.
What to Document
- which behavior continues, when it happens, what staff did, whether the BIP strategy was used, and what data was collected
- The exact IEP page, school email, meeting note, service log, progress report, or evaluation section tied to the concern.
- Who responded, what they said, and whether the answer was written, verbal, or missing.
Evidence to Attach
- current FBA, BIP, behavior goals, incident reports, removal log, staff implementation notes, and progress data
- BIP, FBA, incident reports, removal log, staff notes, parent log, and behavior progress data.
- A one-page timeline if the same issue has happened more than once.
When to Ask for PWN
Ask for written documentation if the school refuses to review the FBA/BIP, says the plan is sufficient without data, or declines to revise supports.
Keep the Request Narrow
- Ask one answerable question before listing every concern.
- Name the IEP section or school record the team should review.
- Ask who is responsible, when the next step starts, and how you will know it happened.
What Not to Say
Avoid: Broad accusations about intent or motive.
Try: Tie the concern to the written IEP, evaluation data, service logs, meeting notes, or a specific school decision.
Avoid: A long history of every frustration in the same email.
Try: Lead with the one decision, service gap, or document section you need the team to address now.
Avoid: The school is breaking the law and must do exactly what I want.
Try: Please review whether the current behavior plan is being implemented with fidelity and whether the FBA or BIP needs revision based on recent data.
Make the written request easy to answer
Keep the message short enough that the school can respond point by point. Use this structure before adding personal details.
Please review whether the current behavior plan is being implemented with fidelity and whether the FBA or BIP needs revision based on recent data.
which behavior continues, when it happens, what staff did, whether the BIP strategy was used, and what data was collected
Ask one answerable question before listing every concern.
Ask for written documentation if the school refuses to review the FBA/BIP, says the plan is sufficient without data, or declines to revise supports.
Turn the concern into a usable record
A stronger first message usually sounds specific, documented, and answerable. Use this as the shape, then swap in your child's actual dates and IEP pages.
The BIP says staff will use a break routine, but incident reports show repeated removals with no note that the break routine was offered.
BIP, FBA, incident reports, removal log, staff notes, parent log, and behavior progress data.
What does the data show about whether the plan is being used and whether it is effective?
What To Do Right Now
Pull the record first: current FBA, BIP, behavior goals, incident reports, removal log, staff implementation notes, and progress data
Make a short dated list: which behavior continues, when it happens, what staff did, whether the BIP strategy was used, and what data was collected
Send this sentence: Please review whether the current behavior plan is being implemented with fidelity and whether the FBA or BIP needs revision based on recent data.
Ask for written documentation if the school refuses to review the FBA/BIP, says the plan is sufficient without data, or declines to revise supports.
Check behavior-plan red flags
Use the red flags checker to sort behavior supports, implementation gaps, data, and next team questions.
Open the red flags checkerStart With the Written Record
Before you send a letter or file a complaint, start with the written IEP. The audit can flag documented gaps, weak language, and sections that may deserve a written question or closer professional review.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if the BIP is not being followed?
What if the BIP is followed but behavior continues?
Should the plan focus on punishment?
Does this prove the school broke the law?
Review the document before you escalate
Upload your IEP to identify written sections that may need clarification, correction, or professional review.
Review My IEP