"I've sat at over 500 IEP tables."
I'm Mary, a former special education teacher and administrator, a Special Education Advocate, and co-founder of The Advocate Ally with my son, Graham. I left the system to help families directly. I created this special education resource because too many parents feel pressured to accept generic, "cookie-cutter" IEPs.
The guidance below is grounded in the same practical, document-based questions I raise in IEP meetings every day. Use it to ask for clearer, more individualized support for your child.
Mary
Co-founder, The Advocate Ally
Start with the record, then choose the next step
A written accommodation such as extended time, breaks, read-aloud support, assistive technology, reduced workload, visual supports, or seating is not happening consistently. The strongest request names the setting, support, staff role, and how the school will verify it is happening.
What to Check
- which accommodation was missed, where it was missed, dates or examples, and how it affected access, work completion, or stress
- The exact IEP page, school email, meeting note, service log, progress report, or evaluation section tied to the concern.
- Who responded, what they said, and whether the answer was written, verbal, or missing.
Red Flags
- The school gave a verbal answer but the IEP, PWN, progress report, or meeting note does not show the decision.
- The response focuses on opinion, staffing, or habit without naming data, records, or the written IEP section.
- The issue could affect services, placement, discipline, safety, graduation, or evaluation timelines.
Documents to Gather
- the accommodation page, affected class or setting, teacher emails, assignments, tests, behavior notes, and work samples
- The accommodation page, test dates, assignment notes, gradebook entries, teacher response, and any student report of what happened.
- A one-page timeline if the same issue has happened more than once.
Sample Finding
The record shows How will the team make sure this accommodation is understood and used in this class going forward?
Parent-Safe Sentence
"Please confirm each teacher or provider has the accommodation list and explain how this accommodation will be delivered starting on the next school day."
Who to Contact
Start with the teacher or provider for facts, copy the case manager, and ask the IEP coordinator or special education director for a written implementation plan if the issue continues.
Privacy Guardrail
Share only the facts and records needed for this request. Avoid sending broad medical history, unnecessary diagnoses, or extra student identifiers unless the school process specifically requires them.
When to Get Local Help
Get qualified local help if the school response could affect discipline, safety, placement, service denial, evaluation rights, missed timelines, retaliation concerns, state complaint, mediation, due process, graduation, or unclear state-specific deadlines.
Source Grounding
- IDEA IEP contents
- IDEA review and revision of IEPs
- IDEA services and aids
- IDEA related services
- IDEA state complaints
- IDEA due process complaint
This guide is educational information, not legal advice. Rules and deadlines can vary by state, district, and procedure.
What's Happening
A written accommodation such as extended time, breaks, read-aloud support, assistive technology, reduced workload, visual supports, or seating is not happening consistently. The strongest request names the setting, support, staff role, and how the school will verify it is happening.
Rights to Review
Start with the written IEP and the written school record. The safest first move is usually to ask the team to confirm what it is doing, what data it used, and what it will put in writing.
- You can ask the school to identify the IEP page, record, or data it is relying on.
- You can put the concern in writing so the team can respond point by point.
- If the school refuses a request, proposes a change, or says no change is needed, ask for the reasoning in writing.
- State timelines and dispute options can vary, so verify local procedural safeguards before escalating.
Build a Calm Written Record
When a school conversation feels urgent, the safest first move is usually a narrow written record: what happened, what you are asking for, and what evidence should be reviewed.
The Calmer First Written Step
Please confirm each teacher or provider has the accommodation list and explain how this accommodation will be delivered starting on the next school day.
What to Document
- which accommodation was missed, where it was missed, dates or examples, and how it affected access, work completion, or stress
- The exact IEP page, school email, meeting note, service log, progress report, or evaluation section tied to the concern.
- Who responded, what they said, and whether the answer was written, verbal, or missing.
Evidence to Attach
- the accommodation page, affected class or setting, teacher emails, assignments, tests, behavior notes, and work samples
- The accommodation page, test dates, assignment notes, gradebook entries, teacher response, and any student report of what happened.
- A one-page timeline if the same issue has happened more than once.
When to Ask for PWN
Ask for a written explanation if the school says the accommodation will not be provided, will be changed, or does not apply in the setting where the problem happened.
Keep the Request Narrow
- Ask one answerable question before listing every concern.
- Name the IEP section or school record the team should review.
- Ask who is responsible, when the next step starts, and how you will know it happened.
What Not to Say
Avoid: Broad accusations about intent or motive.
Try: Tie the concern to the written IEP, evaluation data, service logs, meeting notes, or a specific school decision.
Avoid: A long history of every frustration in the same email.
Try: Lead with the one decision, service gap, or document section you need the team to address now.
Avoid: The school is breaking the law and must do exactly what I want.
Try: Please confirm each teacher or provider has the accommodation list and explain how this accommodation will be delivered starting on the next school day.
Make the written request easy to answer
Keep the message short enough that the school can respond point by point. Use this structure before adding personal details.
Please confirm each teacher or provider has the accommodation list and explain how this accommodation will be delivered starting on the next school day.
which accommodation was missed, where it was missed, dates or examples, and how it affected access, work completion, or stress
Ask one answerable question before listing every concern.
Ask for a written explanation if the school says the accommodation will not be provided, will be changed, or does not apply in the setting where the problem happened.
Turn the concern into a usable record
A stronger first message usually sounds specific, documented, and answerable. Use this as the shape, then swap in your child's actual dates and IEP pages.
The IEP gives extended time and chunked assignments, but the student received timed tests and zeroes for incomplete classwork in one class.
The accommodation page, test dates, assignment notes, gradebook entries, teacher response, and any student report of what happened.
How will the team make sure this accommodation is understood and used in this class going forward?
What To Do Right Now
Pull the record first: the accommodation page, affected class or setting, teacher emails, assignments, tests, behavior notes, and work samples
Make a short dated list: which accommodation was missed, where it was missed, dates or examples, and how it affected access, work completion, or stress
Send this sentence: Please confirm each teacher or provider has the accommodation list and explain how this accommodation will be delivered starting on the next school day.
Ask for a written explanation if the school says the accommodation will not be provided, will be changed, or does not apply in the setting where the problem happened.
Check whether the accommodation wording is specific enough
Use the accommodation checker to review setting, trigger, staff role, frequency, and implementation language.
Open the accommodation checkerStart With the Written Record
Before you send a letter or file a complaint, start with the written IEP. The audit can flag documented gaps, weak language, and sections that may deserve a written question or closer professional review.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do if accommodations are not being followed?
What if only one teacher skips the accommodation?
Should I ask for a new accommodation?
Does this prove the school broke the law?
Review the document before you escalate
Upload your IEP to identify written sections that may need clarification, correction, or professional review.
Review My IEP